… wedding in mangalore
The marriage of Kadri’s son, Mani, to Adhithi in Mangalore was one of the big social events of the year for this corner of the Tamil music scene. Many of Kadri’s family, friends and close connections are making the journey to Mangalore. Many more will be at the reception in Chennai in the first week of March (this event in itself will be a who’s who of the Carnatic music scene).
A floor of a hotel has been booked for special guests, cars have been hired … this is a no holds barred, lavish event.
After the odd confusion/tension of the past few weeks, this is magic … I’m booked into a lush hotel (soap, towel, hot water and television). After a rest, I call Kadri, and a driver is sent to pick me up for the pre-wedding evening dinner. I am hooked into a photo session with Mani … it is odd, we’ve hardly met, but being an eccentric western student of the elder Kadri gives me a strange position of advantage. I’m photographed with Mani in a traditional indian wedding outfit (silk, turban slippers) and me in a grubby t shirt plugging an australian aboriginal rugby festival. I’m squirting some strange concoction onto a leaf, trying not to make too many faux pas.
This ends shortly after the meal, though I have a quick chat with John Marr.
Next day, I pop out for a morning coffee … Cafe Coffee Day hasn’t broken into Mangalore yet (according to the indian travel tome they have, but it looks like they have broken out). Back with what I think is an hour to spare, and I’m about to get thrown in the first car to the ceremony. Hold off for fifteen minutes, throw down some hotel food, and I’m on my way.
The wedding hall is lavish … a step above any other ceremony I’ve seen. The temple itself is similar in style to the technicolor dravidian temples of Tamil Nadu, but it is largely gold painted. The wedding hall is huge, white with golden statues in every alcove. It is very much more of a goddess feel to the place, though there is a Siva to one side, and a Krishna opposite. and these are old school goddesses. Sensual … erotic even. Mangalore is famous for weddings, and the Managlore Devi a most potent goddess to bless them.
Indian weddings are simultaneously tradition bound and strangely ad hoc. On one level, it feels like a concert. There is constant music … and Nagaswarams, the traditional instrument used at weddings, are loud. There are a lot of particular rituals taking place, up on stage. People know these rituals. Most here are married, so have been through this. They don’t need to know the words or ritual actions. The priest is doing a lot of complex stuff, but I am absorbed into the soundscape. Blessings are made … people move from one part of the stage to another, sit or stand. It is strangely distant. It is the power of the music that brings everyone here to the present. To bless and witness the ceremony.
And the music is stunning. Really the finest Nagaswaram playing I have heard. For one of the Kadri family I doubt it would be allowed to happen any other way.
As much as anything else, the wedding is significant for the amazing people met. Many of the carnatic sax scene, many of Kadri’s friends and family … all treat me with warmth. Many conversations get past the standard indian 20 questions of country, job and marital status, and stray into philosophy and music. Two connections are of particular note.
Dr John Marr is one of the weddings guests of honour (he is announced over the pa as one of the 2 or 3 guests of major note guests are appearing before the couple to give presents) … I meet him both at the pre-wedding meal, and the wedding itself. He is at least in his 60s and he has been a student of Carnatic music for many years, I gather he studied at the Madras music academy many many moons ago (60s I estimate by some of the gossip he shares). He has some odd and appealing notions about Carnatic music, not least of which is that the contemporary scene has lost much of the sensuality/sexuality of the original artform. He knows the author (Vedavalli) of a theory text I’m reading … considers her a prude (certainly most Indians I’ve met fit this category to say nothing of the conservative chennai classical music scene) … as an example, he mentions that she uses an odd name for raga Kalyani which has a very neutral implication wheras Kalyani is at very least about love if not pure boy-girl lust (carnatic rag names actually have a numerological naming/ordering, which the name Kalyani fits into, and which the name Vedavalli uses doesn’t).
John has set up a carnatic music school in London, attached to a university, and can offer a BMus specialising in classical music performance. Has had students that include Candida Conolly, the author of Kadri’s UK published book. He is keen to sell me on the idea of studying there, and makes sure I have every possible means of connecting to him when I get to the UK (a strong possibility because of work possibility now an almost certainty).
We are both blown out of the water by the quality of the Nagaswaram playing. You hear so much Nagaswaram at weddings, but it is clear that this is different. One of the senior sax players is in the second party, but he barely plays a note … he has a very uncomfortable look … it’s clear that he knows that whatever he does will sound lame, and does as little as possible.
Narasimhalu Vadavati, the other deep connection, is a Hindustani master clarinettist. I am introduced to him in the afternoon after the wedding. We have a brief discussion, and I am intrigued by the possibility of learning an instrument that I can play at least modestly well from an Indian master. He has much the same role with Clarinet in Hindustani music that Kadri has with Sax in Carnatic music. More about Narasimhalu later …
The feast is extraordinary. Indian wedding feasts are lavish, but this is again another notch higher. At least two different thalis to be had, and you would undoubtedly be overeating even to try everything on offer. I give it my best shot, however, and do manage to fit in two sweet coconut desserts.
There is no definite beginning and ending to the proceedings. No grand ritual making a presentation to everybody. It is the sum total of a lot of personal rituals shared in small groups. The guests go up to make their personal blessings on the couple, gifts, rice throwing, personal and traditional gestures. People arriving, people leaving.
After lunch, I feel the energy has shifted, and I have a look around the temple. A great temple, a lavish wedding hall, a great kitch sculpture garden and fountain (Shiva with birds and animals). Eventually, I pick up my tevas and wander back to the hotel room.
